‘Who has better tastes’ contest!

Before writing anything I must admit that I used to do the same things that I am mentioning below. So I’m just a hypocrite :P
There is a friend of mine whose attitude really pisses me off. He refuses to watch any film that is a ‘superhit’ & looks down upon people who watch the same. Anything that is enjoyed by a LOT of people, has to be crap. And, he feels very superior to these ‘dumb mass audience’ (these are his words, not mine).

I see the same attitude on social networking sites like Twitter where people love to show that they are not like the ‘dumb masses’ who watch Dabbang (I haven’t seen the film) or read 3 mistakes of my life (no, I don’t like that book!)

Why am I writing this? Am I one of those dumb masses (again, this label is not my invention) who watch masala, formula films? Yes & no. I mean sometimes, my mind is so chaotic that I just sit down & watch these formula films (yeah go ahead judge me!). But mostly, I don’t watch all those formula films. But do I need to feel superior to my neighbor (who is a big fan of masala films) because of that? Should I feel superior to my friend because I read Rabindranath Tagore & Albert Camus (okay as I’m typing this, I do feel a lil’ superior :P I do feel a lil’ snobbish as I’m taking these big names :P I’m trying to get over this) & my friend reads Chetan Bhagat? My neighbor HATES Coke Studio (both India & Pakistan). She likes Akon. Should I look down upon her & call her dumb?

I think the tendency to ‘look down’ upon something arises when you are competing. And Art in my opinion is not about competing (that is the reason I hate award shows), it is just expressing your feelings. The first thing about art is that it is subjective! But what is happening? We are trying to come up with objective standards and try to bully everyone to accept them! If it is cricket, you will judge in numbers, but you cannot do the same with art.

People look at art in the same way they look at the top 10 run scorers in the History of cricket. I do not look at art in an aesthetic sense. Let’s take an example (the example is not completely based on facts): When my dad gets some promotion, me and my brother are happy. My brother is a lil’ outgoing while I’m extremely shy. He will straight away praise my dad & tell him how much he respects him (he is expressing his feelings). I, on the other hand will prefer to say things in an indirect way (maybe I will write a short story). But the fact remains that we both love my father equally! And basically we are saying the SAME thing. Just because my brother expressed his feelings directly, he isn’t inferior to me!

Of course, I’m not applying the above example totally in the field of arts.

Yes, I do wonder..why doesn’t my neighbor watch Coke Studio? I do cringe when I watch those singers on singing shows & compare their voices to legends like M.S.Subbulakshmi (yes, I am deriving a little snobbish pleasure again :P) Doesn’t my neighbor get tired of the same old “Raat ko neend nahi aati, din mein chain nahi aata” type of songs? But who am I to decide what ‘art’ is? Maybe she likes formula films because her life is almost like those films or maybe she wants her life to be like them. Mostly (not always), the songs, the films that we love are the ones which give us an assurance that we are not alone..that we are not weird ("I could totally relate to that"). Artists are people who say things that we want to say..most of us don’t have the courage/ability to say it.

So just let the people enjoy what they want. Why the hell do you want to impose your ‘aesthetic’ standards?

I just want to say this to my friend: What the fuck? In school, you study that there is only one right opinion and that is of the guy whose definition is there in the textbook and do you want to do that throughout your life? Just accept some opinion because it is given by someone who is considered to be an authority or an expert (it is okay if the expert’s opinion is good and you agree with it but it is not OKAY if you hate a film because according to some hotshot critic, it wasn’t good)? Stop being an intellectual slave & an intellectual snob. You don’t need to bring down Sunidhi Chauhan just because M.S.Subbulakshmi is better. Just let people listen to whatever they want.

Plan B?

Note: If the reader feels that I have different view points just to 'stand-out' in the crowd, you better close this tab and get back to commenting on your friend's facebook albums with "awwwwwww <3." If someone does things just for the heck of being 'different,' he/she is a loser (okay,a confession: I tried to deliberately 'stand-out' in the crowd in my teenage because I was a highly insecure person.Not anymore). And the 'love' I'm talking about in this post is love in general and not just romantic love!! This post is not about my ex!

Now that I'm 'adult' I must say, I think twice before opening up to someone and telling them about my vulnerabilities.I think twice before loving someone deeply (no, this post is not about my break-up!).When you are an adult, you start becoming more 'practical' and try to reduce risks in your life. Few weeks back, I was tempted to follow this 'lowest-risk' philosophy because of unbelievable amount of pain and mental disturbance that I was facing because of loving someone very deeply and knowing that the person doesn't really value me(no, not my boyfriend!)but thank God, my inner voice saved me again.

Everyone tells me that I should live smartly (nothing wrong in that and yes, this smartness does save you from this much pain!). Their tips? I shouldn't get too much attached. So if I love someone, I should love them in a balanced way..because if you love them deeply and madly and they leave you, you will have to go through a LOT of pain. If you are making some friends over the internet/real life, don't get too attached..why to cry so much when there are so many people on your gtalk list,right? Why to love someone madly and face the risk of a complete breakdown? Some people even went ahead and said that loving someone madly and deeply is 'bad' (really dude? Living your life like a zombie is 'bad' according to me..who are you to decide what is 'bad' and what is 'good'?)! But if you think about their advice (to be very balanced),you realize that it is absolutely true and makes a lot of sense! But somewhere my persona is not like this.

I'm somewhat an extreme person. When I do something, I do it with WHATEVER I have got inside me. When I create campaigns, I put in EVERY FUCKING thing in it: My soul, my blood, sweat and tears! I'm incapable of doing things I am not passionate about. 'Passion' drives my life. I have been given similar advices to have 'Plan B' in my career. So if this doesn't work out, what will you do? I actually don't think much about that! I hate having Plan B (not because I'm a fool or because of idealism but because it is BORING to have a plan B)! In the same way, being 'smart' in relationships is something that I can certainly achieve (just requires a little bit of hard work)but I choose not to!Why? Because only when I love someone deeply and madly, I feel I'm alive! Otherwise I'm just a zombie or a Robot! It is easy to write this though. The kind of breakdown I have had after I came to know that the person has no value for me is just UNBELIEVABLE. I was on the verge of suicide! I even promised myself that I won't EVER love someone like this (of course, when you face his much pain the most comfortable choice would be not to do that again.) Do I still want to go through the same shit again knowing that it is just unbearable and makes a mess of everything in my life? After a lot of thinking, my inner voice said YES. I'm capable of loving only like this. Either I give my hundred percent or I don't do it at all.

People these days make fun of emotional people and call them 'emotional fools'..I don't mind that tag. Everyone is so smart but I'm dumb! I treasure my emotions. I'm not a masochist who loves pain (Do you think anyone enjoys suicidal thoughts?!) but I'm an artist! I want to FEEL everything DEEPLY. Another thing that I see these days is: People are so scared of being vulnerable and are even more scared of admitting their vulnerabilities! I guess being vulnerable is a weakness for them! I feel that being vulnerable is very important for an artist. Yes, I certainly won't allow people to walk all over me but I don't want to live a life where I won't have any vulnerability. That is BORING! So does this blog post remind you of characters in books (by the way, I'm not choosing this because of any books or films!! I'm not choosing this because of 'challenges' and 'risks.. It is just the way I am!)? I'm impractical and not 'balanced' and if you don't like me it is better you close the tab and go back to your 'practical- life' and live a life of balance sheets and do some fucking cost-benefit analysis of relationships (arre by chance yeh friend chala gaya toh mere happiness ka kya hoga? Isliye main zyada attach nahi honga) and live your life 'smartly.' Why to take risks?
Me? I choose to be foolish and crazy! You can give me any labels you want. And yes, no need to tell me that I have many mental disorders! It is better to be mentally retarded than live a boring life without passion!


"Anything less than mad, passionate love is a waste of time.There are too many mediocre things in life, and love shouldn't be one of them."