Few days back, someone in my friends’ list shared this article: http://chronicle.com/article/What-Are-You-Going-to-Do-With/124651/

This article showed me a mirror. I always had questions. Questions that no one liked. And most importantly, these were the questions which had no easy answers. Since the questions were tough, weird and made me and people around me uncomfortable, I started ignoring them. .Because if I start asking these questions, I won’t have a ‘safe’ and ‘secure’ career.

A month back, my life changed. I got a job. A job that I loved. It was a relief. Relief from the endless taunts of aunties, relatives and friends. Everyone had an opinion on which course I should be pursuing. Everyone was ready to give me their ‘gyan.’ Finally, I had an answer to “What are you doing, career wise?” But after a month of employment, I have questions. Why am I happy? Am I happy because I have successfully fitted into the system? Am I happy because my career is a little bit more ‘certain’ and ‘secure’? I work in the creative department of an ad agency and the job is creative but am I creating an impact? Am I changing anything? Yes, I like my job but am I doing something disruptive? Wouldn't it be amazing to change someone's life through creativity?

Some of the conversations I had with people (before I got a job) were like this:

Them: So, what are you going to do career wise?
Me: Ummm, I don’t know. I want to do something new. Not to stand out but because I am not satisfied with the existing conditions. I mean, I don’t fit in anywhere.
Them: New? Hey, first try to get a P.G. degree..it is very important these days..you cannot really survive without it..it is bloody important..and you have to compromise..otherwise how will you get a job?
Me: Umm. Can’t you talk about anything besides degrees and how I will doomed without them? I mean, what the fuck? Why can’t we do something totally path-breaking.
Them: Like what?
Me: I don’t know. I can’t tell you right now. But I believe that if you have the will, you will have a way too..
Them: Are you fucking stupid? You are living in a dream world. Wake up, Sush! Time is running out. If you start preparing for CAT from this month, you might have a slim chance to make it to a decent B-school.
Me: *massive facepalm* Fuck, man. I am talking about innovation and you are talking about CAT? I should join a B-school and do what? Get a MBA degree and work in some goddamn investment bank?
Them: The thing is, you don’t wanna work hard. You are just jealous of people who make it to b-schools..and yes, you just want to ‘stand out and be different’..that is the reason you hate the ‘system’..
Me: This is ridiculous! I don’t have any problem with people who are doing what they love..even if their passion is going to a b-school…but can’t you fucking see? Almost EVERYONE is doing shit because that will get them a secure career. Being secure is not wrong but fuck, atleast stop discouraging people who want to break this goddamn cycle.The fact is, NO ONE (including you) likes the system…and you just deny it because facing this question will affect your fucking resume.

I used to find people boring. Everyone I met had jobs that they hated. Everyone tried real hard to somehow fit into the system. It was as if, you cannot do anything outside the box (system). I always believed that imagination/creativity/innovation can change a lot of things. But am I not like other people now? I have 'fit into' the system. I’m just walking on a path that has already been made. I’m not doing anything new. No, I’m not talking about ‘being different’ just for the heck of it. I don’t want to ‘stand out’ or whatever. I’m talking about breaking this pathetic cycle of crappy education system…every Indian wants to escape this cycle…but none of us have a solution.

Our society tries to limit us. After 10th, you are asked “Beta Science, commerce ya arts?”..what if a person wants to learn something from all the streams (I am such a person!). What if someone wants to do something totally new..something beyond degrees..something that has no precedent..?
So what should I do? Silence the questions inside me? OR quit my job and trust that I’m asking the right questions and take a risk? What will I do? I don’t have an answer.