Sunday, May 11, 2008

@ Someone

Today is another one of those "days." Human Beings have days for Everything. Whatever. So,Its Your Day. You are expecting me to write a blog on how much I love you? Or maybe Some Poetry? Or you expect some Gifts? If you are expecting such things then I'm Sorry. As always you'll be disappointed. I can write this in some other way..Maybe in some Fairy Tale form..decorate it with adjectives, whine a little to get 45 Plus Comments sympathizing with me. I can do that. But no one reads this Space anymore. The reasons being repetitive themes and Blog Hoarding (A Self Invented Term..I don't think there is a need for any explanation) . Anyways I don't feel the need to market this space or myself anymore. What am I doing? I don’t have any ounce of self-respect left to realize that I'm making a fool of myself in the public..Maybe I get a Personal Satisfaction when I do such things..

So by default, I must Love You,Right? I have tried doing this for 19 years. And now I give Up. I'm a Sinner. Yes a Sinner, because I asked you " Why?."

I asked You: "Give Me a Reason..Why Should I love You?." To this you come up with Bollywood Style Statement: "Love doesn't have Reasons." This is a ridiculous statement! Can You Love anyone without a reason? I can't. Even if you love a Bank Robber, you have some reason.

You say: You have to love me because I brought you into this world!
What a reason! I would have come here anyway! That is not a reason at all!

You say: You must love me because I have given you education and fulfilled all your demands..So you are asking me to love you for the Financing Part?. Love is a Life Insurance Policy with extra benefits? Or a Loan taken from a Bank? I wish people see the difference between "this" relationship and a relationship between an insurance company and the policy holder.
Then you come up with another statement : You should love me, because I Love You!
This is what I can't do! You don’t know the meaning of love you say. Maybe I don’t. But I know one thing: The word Love should’nt be used so casually. Like “Cool” and “Sexy.” Like “Awesome” and “Rocking.” Yeah I sound like some Goddamn Preacher. My love is not on sale for some charity auction..At least Love should’nt be used as a Charity...I'm not here for social service..For Love, some conditions have to be fulfilled..
But You'll say: "Love is Unconditional"
I say its Crap! I will kill someone just because he insulted me. Will you come and fight the case for me?
But I found a Valid reason. You have potential. Yes, like every Human you too have it. Since you are who you are, I decided to give you time. We all need time. But your potential is like an Expired Warranty Card. I keep roaming around Maybe’s , Someday’s, etc etc. How long shall I wait?

Have you ever played a Chess Game? There comes a situation when you have just a King left..and your opponent has many. You fool around..You Keep on moving your King..Forward,Backward, Right and left. I have no idea why I’m using this Example. Maybe you know what I'm talking about..

This is not an attempt to change anyone. You can’t love people sometimes. There are people in this world whom you can't love or hate. And you know what? Its OK. I feel free. I don’t have any guilt. I walk on, loving myself. And I hope that some other Soul will not write stuff like this for me in the future! But you never know…

This is just another stupid day. The sun rose in the east and it will set in the west.

17 comments:

BIG Omi said...

oye Heylo,

Finally i got u r blog... was searching for it since long... i lost ue url...

how are you doing?

Abt the post- nice one

love - the most ambiguous and vague term... no one can define it in terms... but its feeling can be...
it can only be felt...


loving ur mom is not an inculcated love ... its not any admonition...

u seemed to have rebuked the whole term of love in this post...

But she was therewith you for past 19 years ....its huge 19 years ... isn't it a sufficient reason to wish her A happy Mother's Day...


And one mo' thing.. i still read your space its not that ur blog has attained solitude... keep blogging ... my blog missed your blog... there was no one to have a verbal crusade.. lol...
and hows ur law thingie going on???


Ciyao..
Tc.
Omi

Sushmita said...

@ Omi
Hi!
I'm doing good..what about you?.Nice to see your comments..
You are right about that wishing my mother thing..I'm sounding very arrogant here right?.. when I read it now, I don't believe that I have written this. But I think, it makes sense..you really can't love people because of some obligation..the main motive was to find a reason..financing, giving birth are not the reasons..But you still love your mother, no matter what..oh wait..actually the word ain't Love..

Even I was missing Verbal Crusades ;)

Anonymous said...

Sushmita,
i dunno who u are , but saw ur comment in GAURAV JAIN's PROFILE.. i am from BLOGLITERATI team
(http://sharath.blogliterati.com) ... Its that, the entire of BLOGLITERATI (www.blogliterati.com) is worried abt JAIPUR bomb blasts and gaurav jain's absence for quite sometime . Since this guy also hails from JODHPUR... We have a post for him too (refer to http://blogliterati.com/ReadPost.aspx?readpostid=4606)
should u know any details abt him pls convey to us.. u can ping me or my friends on
http://richa.blogliterati.com or
http://supriya.blogliterati.com or on www.enlightenedhorizon.wordpress.com by goin to the comment section.... Ur immediate action will be highly appreciated.

- Subbby , Richa , Supriya, Mrs. Pumpkin, Nisha, Rattan Datta, Satish Chandran, Dilsen

Sushmita said...

@ Mr. Anonymous
Sir, I have left a comment at your blog..I hope you got that..In case you didn't then I would like to inform you that I have personally mailed Gaurav..I'm waiting for his reply..till then lets hope that he is fine..
Thank You Very much for the information..

BIG Omi said...

@ Mr.Anonymous,
Thanks I got my new topic for post.
I hope Gaurav is all well.
Tc.
omi

subbby said...

thanks a tonne Sushmita
i did recieve your comment at ma blog. and thanks for ur initiative too. may be if he doest turn up in a weeks time u could give us his mail address. Hope alls well with him. we had dropped comments on his blog (refer : http://allaboutliterati.blogliterati.com/) because that generates a e-mail notification ..but no response from him..

@big OMI
ma prayers too for his well being.

- Subbby (Anonymous as per previous comment)

Sushmita said...

@ Shubby and Omi
Gaurav is perfectly alright. His place is miles away from the blasts..Just got his reply..
Yay!!!

Anonymous said...

oiy,
its Subby re. not SHUBBY.... i wonder how my name takes diff incarnations...

anyways, got ur message... thanks once again pal. We are happy

cheers to all,

Subbby (comes from Sharath Subramonian) ;-)

Anonymous said...

oiy,
its Subby re. not SHUBBY.... i wonder how my name takes diff incarnations...

anyways, got ur message... thanks once again pal. We are happy

cheers to all,

Subbby (comes from Sharath Subramonian) ;-)

BIG Omi said...

@ Sushmita,
Great news.. BTW my latest post is inspired by this incident.. good to see that bloggers care .. and care a lot..

BIG Omi said...

Yeh ladki fir se Gayab ho gayi... grr...
* now singing cartoon rhyme...


Scooby-Dooby-Doo, Where Are You?
We got some work to do now.
Scooby-Dooby-Doo, Where Are You?
We need some help from you now. ... *

Unknown said...

Man I was here after a long long time!

First things first: I like the "new" you. You made an awesome comeback at AS, and it's delightful to see the Sushmita who has stopped involving her self in a discussion, and focuses on the topic.

Secondly, I think expressing your views (on blogs or comments or in conversations) isn't necessarily about having no self respect. It's about a mode of self-expression, and a very enriching one at that.

Thirdly, I wrote against "Love is Unconditional" on Omi's previous post! And seems like we are in agreement, as usual. :P
:)

Mike Knowles said...

Just to prove that I HAVE visited your blog. And I can appreciate your feelings about it. I went through a blogging phase – I must have created almost a dozen of them. Six of them were all interconnected and actually part of a project I was working on. They’ve now been turned into a book. It’s one of a series I’m working - a Hunter S. Thomson Gonzo look at various aspects of the Internet. My normal publisher doesn’t do this particular genre, so I’m hawking the ideas around. Your point about language is a valid one. The English language is being devalued. I recall reading that David Beckham had been “totally gutted” because he hadn’t been selected to play for England. I hate football so I was unable to sympathise with him. But then I though, wait a minute! What if, God forbid, he ever suffers from a personal tragedy? How would he feel then? You can image the interview on television...

INTERVIEWER: Your entire family was wiped out.

DAVID: Yeah, when I heard I was totally gutted.

INTERVIEWER: So it’s as bad as not being selected for England?

DAVID: Er...no. It’s worse.

INTERVIEWER: I see. So you were MORE than totally gutted.

DAVID: Yeah.

Awesome...that’s another buzzword. These days everything has to be awesome. No matter how trivial. Hey! I had a burger today and it was awesome. Hey! I just farted! It was awesome. Like my shoes? They’re awesome. What I’d like to do is find a volcano that’s about to erupt and sit these idiots down near the rim. Then I’d explain that all those other trivial little events in their trivial little lives were NOT awesome at all. And that they were going to witness something that really deserves that description. And then I’d sit in a safe place and watch the larva instantly cremate them. Awesome, right?

Farid Baig said...

Hey!!
Must say u hv used some very strong words there!!
Nevertheless ur point of view is one to be applauded!!
Brilliant work!!

Anonymous said...

This is great info to know.

madman said...

this post is like a forum

Ketan said...

Impressed by your honesty and clarity of thoughts.