Pledge!

I, ____, promise to commit myself to love/passion. Henceforth, everything I do will be out of passion/love. I will commit myself to 4 things that mean the most to me: 1. A free mind which understands the true nature of reality 2. Creativity 3. Fighting injustice 4. Meaningful relationships. I owe this to all the people who brought me closer to my true self. I owe this to the people who have brought me closer to a happy life. I owe this to the universe which has always supported me when I followed my inner voice. I will try my best to achieve maximum utilization of my potential. I will try my best to stop looking at other's lives and re-thinking about my decisions. Everyone has their own path and it is futile to compare two different lives..just how it is futile to compare two works of art. I will try my best to stop letting the negativity and hatred in the world to stop me from loving. I will try my best to stop keeping a balance sheet of what I have given and what I have been receiving. I will try to love myself irrespective of my talent, achievements etc. I will try to do the same when I will love others. I will try my best to not hate anyone or any thought. Even the enemy of love/passion, FEAR, can be used for our advantage if we want to...but I will try my best to make sure that my motivation for everything will be primarily passion/love.

Love unites and fear divides and hence, I will try my best to not speak and think ill of others because it is just a result of FEAR. I will try my best to be brutally honest with myself and acknowledge my hypocrisy. I will try my best to be less judgmental of others because I cannot judge anyone unless I lived every moment of their life. I promise to try my best to be grateful for not just the so-called big things but the most basic and taken-for-granted things like breathing.

I promise to try my best to stop torturing myself and others because of PERFECTION. When we cry because something is not perfect, we are saying, " How dare you? I deserve the best and you are insulting me by not giving me what I want!"...when we seek self-improvement/excellence, we try to be better each day and we find joy in this PROCESS of getting better. We are saying, "The universe is so beautiful and it is MY responsibility and MY privilege to give my best to it". Seeking perfection is outcome of fear while seeking excellence/ self-improvement is an outcome of love. Perfectionists are not grateful and as someone says, "nothing new comes to our lives, unless we are grateful."

I promise to try my best to not run away from situations. Whenever I will feel extreme sadness and extreme fear because of someone leaving or a beautiful thing which is coming to an end or get scared about the fact that things will never be the same in the future, I will remember to be GRATEFUL and everything will be okay.

I will try my best to trust the universe a little more everyday.

I will believe in "nothing is impossible" again.

I will try my best to say "No" when someone/something is hurting me. Hurting someone is never a nice thing but I promise to let go of perfection in this area too: I will remember that I cannot make everyone happy. Like Swami Vivekananda's example: Even if I'm giving an inspiring speech to people and it changes the world, my speech is contributing to death of microbes! So, I cannot make everyone happy. I cannot live without hurting something/someone. So, if someone is doing something/expecting something which is harming me, I will let the person know and not over-think about it. I will also remember the fact that if someone is asking me to do something which cannot come from my heart, I won't be really 'helping' him/her by pretending. Nothing is perfect and even pretending cannot be perfect. Someday, the person will know that you are pretending and it will hurt him 100 times more. I cannot make anyone happy unless I myself am happy. Moreover, a person who expects you to do something might not stop after the fulfillment of one expectation. He/she will be back again with a list and you will just keep fulfilling them. You won't enjoy pretending and you will be unhappy. He/she will also at some point of time see through your mask because happiness cannot be faked. You are insulting the other person by not doing something from your heart and it is a bigger insult than saying 'No.'

This commitment will also be against my parents in many ways. I might have to stand up against the biggest event of an Indian's life: Marriage. I will not speak to them arrogantly. I will make my dreams and my commitment clear to them. There will be high percentage of guilt inside me which will torment me but I will remember that no single human being is good. We all are good and bad so I should be strict against people who claim that they are good and say that good people don't deserve this. Moreover, good people don't demand anything and good people will never say that they are good because everyone has a dark side and even if you have control over your dark side and you feel 'superior' to others, you are not really a good person. I know that rationality goes out of the window when it comes to loved ones but I will remember that anyone who forces me (physically or mentally by emotionally blackmailing me) to go against my passions or my purpose; do not really want the best for me. I know that this battle against my own loved ones won't be easy and I might be ostracized and hated by the society for being 'selfish' but we know the truth: Everyone is selfish. I also know that whatever path I will take, I will bloody make sure that the society benefits from it so I really don't have to be disheartened with people's labels. I will remember that most people don't think deeply about anything so I should not take them to my heart.

I will try my best not to blame ANYONE or ANY EVENT for the past, present or future. I will remember that any decision I take (even if it is helping others) is a SELFISH decision and hence, I will never think of myself as morally superior to anyone. I will never feel 'cheated' for not getting anything in return because it was MY choice to do something for someone.

I will not crib. I will do the best I can with whatever I have.

I will not live as if I need permission from 'cool' people to exist. I will remember that treating myself this way is utmost insult not just to myself but to others as well. I will remember that if I have to keep loving the people who have given so much to me, I must love myself first. Whenever I will hate myself for no good reason (no, not sucking up to the 'cool' bullies is not a good reason), I will remember that I have lost people because I didn't love myself and the only way to not repeat those mistakes again is by loving myself.

I will not suck up to someone else's opinions about success. I will remember that passion means: giving your everything to someone/something and it also includes giving up the need to be successful in someone else's eyes. I will remember all the great philosophers, great artists etc whose work wasn't even published when they were alive. I will remember people like Spinoza who rejected  professorship because he wouldn't have the freedom to speak his mind in a college!! That job could have given him the money to cure himself from Tuberculosis. I will remember Socrates who died for what he believed in. He could have chosen an easier option like: begging for mercy or leaving Athens.

I promise myself to not have a limited vision of earning a livelihood. I promise myself to find ways to be self-employed. I promise to give a chance to gift-economy.

I will try my best to not take any kind of success seriously. I will try to keep my ego in check. I will remember that ultimately, your talent and good qualities and even your happiness are a result of LUCK (even the desire to WORK HARD is not in your hands). Same thing applies to failure.

I will stop looking at life as a result/ destination and look at it in terms of journey. Sometimes, your favorite team loses but there are some players who play so passionately that you just don't care about the loss. For you, his attitude, the way he played was itself a win. I will live my life this way. I will do everything with so much love and passion that the result won't really matter. Of course, I will learn from my mistakes when the result is negative but I will never hate myself for failing. I expect 100 percent commitment from myself to anything I do. If I made a new friend, I will make sure that I do my best.

I commit myself to meditate regularly. I commit myself to freeing my mind from things that I have been taught by the society. I know that most people won't like me for this but I will try my best to not give into them.

I will stop looking for heroes. Most of the time, I wait for someone who has done what I want to do in the future so that I can follow him/her. I will remember that hero-worshiping and waiting for someone to save me is downright insult to myself and the hero. This does not mean that I will stop looking at other people's work or deeds or life. It only means that if i find someone inspirational, I will not expect him/her to live up to my ideas of a hero, i will not expect him/her to be perfect  nor will I worship him/her. I will just appreciate what he/she has done. I will  remember that inspiration ultimately comes from within.

I will try to not do something to seek admiration/followers. Firstly, achievements are a result of things on which you have no control on (EVEN HARD WORK). Secondly, many people dream of being worshiped by millions of people. But I will remember that if people worship you, it is a joke. The only thing that matters is: Did you inspire them?? If someone you worship doesn't inspire you to be courageous and do what you love then it's all a big joke. What's the big deal if I worship Socrates? It is only meaningful if I stand up to my beliefs in everyday life (in that case, i won't worship him). Worshiping a hero is just putting YOUR expectations from YOUR life onto your heroes.

I commit myself to be less cynical. If I'm at a place where people don't think like me or don't like my approach towards life and reject me without giving me a chance, I won't sulk. I will strive to make a connection with them. I will try to use unconventional methods if the conventional ones don't work. But I will never give up on someone/myself/situation.

I will never disrespect the gifts that I have got from the universe. If I disrespect my gifts, I might disrespect someone else's gifts, someday.

I will try my best to respect myself. If I don't value my own opinion, how can I even say, "I really admire/like/love you" to someone? I will remember what someone said, "A person who TRULY respects himself/herself can NEVER disrespect/harm someone." I will remember that respecting myself INCLUDES taking care of my physical and mental health. I will be sincere in doing my exercise. If a thought is destroying my mental health, I will not ignore it. I will try my best to not hesitate in seeking help. I will remember what Dr. Brene Brown said, "If  I judge yourself and hesitate while seeking help for YOURSELF, you will judge the person who comes to me for Help!" I will address the SHAME that is hidden inside me. I will try my best to talk about my most embarrassing moments with someone instead of feeling ashamed. I will also remember that if the person with whom I shared my shameful stuff hates me, makes fun of me or is ashamed of what I have done; he himself is dealing with shame issues.

I will try my best to not be dependent on people and achieve self-sufficiency (emotionally, financially etc) . I will try my best to enjoy my own company. Whenever I feel that I cannot be my best friend I will remember what someone said, "if you don't like your own company, how can you expect someone else to like it?" I will challenge the popular belief towards solitary people. Human beings compromise a lot because they are scared of being alone. I will try my best to learn the art of being alone.

I will try my best to remember that how people behave with me is about THEM and not about ME and vice-versa. If someone is rude to me, I will not take it personally. If I feel frustrated, I won't blame them. I will also remember that the way people treat me is EXACTLY the way they treat THEMSELVES. So the concept of "Look at him...he hurts others but he is so happy" is crap. If someone uses you and throws you when you are not giving him/her pleasure, you feel like a slave. But the person who used you is  himself a slave to his desires.

I will try my best to not ignore the injustice around me and stand up for it. I will never become indifferent to the horrendous crimes and do my best to do something to stop them. I will never underestimate the power of the smallest of contributions. I will remember the story of the bird which makes rounds to the river and brings drops of water to stop a forest fire. The Gods are so overwhelmed by the bird's actions that they start crying. It rains and the fire stops.

I will try my best to be responsible. I will never be a shirker. I will never think that I'm the center of the universe and when I'm suffering, I will NEVER forget that others are also suffering.

Whenever I will create, I will remember that it is not about money or appreciation. It is about putting a smile on people's faces. Rest all is bullshit.

I promise to always keep the conversation open. If I fight with someone, I will make sure that I will never put a full-stop to the relation. Instead, I will sit with the person and search for solutions. I promise to get rid of the small and big grudges.

I will never respect any authorities unless I test them out by myself. I will test every thought, every opinion on their own merit and will try my best to be not influenced by the person/institution/perception of the person in the public who has come up with the thought.

At workplace, I will never bother about petty things. The only things that matters is: I do my work with passion. Everything else will fall into place. I will be above petty politics. I will make my work so inspiring that everything else fades way. I will also remember to not get too complacent and too comfortable with the idea of working for someone.

I promise to give my 100 percent to the above. On few days, I might give less than 100 percent. In that case, I won't be TOO harsh on myself. But I will ALWAYS stick with the above and ALWAYS stay committed. The thing that takes your eyes off your commitment is OTHER options. I have realized that some of the things make me happy and hence, following someone else's path doesn't make any sense. And most importantly, I don't want to be on the deathbed REGRETTING about anything. The biggest regret is: I wish I was my authentic self and I don't wanna have that.

If I ever feel like breaking this commitment I will remember that this is not just for me, it is for people who have given a lot to me and I owe it to them (not technically but it's a good thought when you get lazy, no?). I will also remember that one of my goals is to fight injustice...how can I do that if I keep crying and wasting time over things like: Why don't people like me?

I might have missed out on few things but basically it must be around one thing: doing everything out of passion/love.

Lastly, I want to live by this philosophy (I heard it on Harsha Bhogle's IIMA speech): Khudi ko kar buland itna,ke har taqdeer se pehle, Khuda khud bandhe se pooche, "bata teri raza kya hai?"

My experiments with lies!

Look around you. Everyone is here to create a good impression. Look at your colleague. Look at that girl in the college. Their biggest worry right now is whether or not they will be considered "cool" by their classmates or colleagues. Look at your parents. Their biggest worry right now is if you have enough degrees to take care of their social reputation. We want everyone to admire us.

 I came to Mumbai in my 9th Grade. I was extremely nervous on the first day of my Mumbai Schooling. I sat on the second-last bench and just looked around the classroom. After sometime, a girl came and asked, "Hi! Do you mind if I sit beside you?" That was the beginning of friendship. I was happy because I honestly didn't expect anyone to be nice to me, forget sitting beside me. I am scared of change. New people, new environment, scares the shit out of me. Going to the next year of your schooling is scary..now, I was in a new city!! But this person sitting next to me, gave me strength. She was also like me...shy, introvert and scared of new things. This created a bond between us and we were sailing through the scary environment, smoothly. However, everything started to change.

My friend saw that there were students who were considered "cool" by teacher, students and entire school. They got the best grades but that's not it. They were perfect at everything: dancing, hosting an event, sports...EVERYTHING! It also helped that they were very charming.They had "power" over others:"Cool" was defined by them. That group was a ticket to stardom! I will admit...because of my social conditioning (my parents also liked such kids and had tried their best since my childhood to turn me like those kids), I too wanted to "belong" to that group but I didn't make any efforts. My friend on the other hand was bowled over by them. Slowly and slowly, she started getting closer to them and she was accepted, too. I would have been happy if my friend was really like those people, but she was not! When the leader of that group was impressed with my friend, my friend was on cloud nine. She started ignoring me! I was deeply hurt but didn't know that ignoring was just the beginning and less painful thing. When my friend got completely accepted, she started taunting me and even insulted me on some occasions. I was shocked and shattered. But with time, I moved on. Our schooling got over and now we both went to the same college.

 In college, there was again a cool gang and this friend again got down to impress them. The things she didn't really like...she would do those very things...just to find acceptance! However, what happened, shocked me more than her behavior during my schooling. Because of an accident, a cool girl and I were in the same group for a project. And this cool girl was very impressed with me. This was shocking for me because I never thought that cool people can praise uncool people (cool people are not bad!) but wait, this is not the real shock. That friend of mine saw that the cool girl praised me and guess what? She started talking nicely to me again! She even started flattering me. This was more painful and more insulting than what she did in school!

It's not that I wasn't influenced by "cool" people, I was. So let me not be "holier than thou" here. We both are good friends now. But these incidents made me question the basis of friendship. It made me question: Why? Why do we suck up to cool people? Why are we so cautious of our "image?" It is like subtle bullying. You are being bullied and you don't even know it! Once, I shared a thought with my colleague and when I told her that some great writer also thought the same, she started respecting the thought more because the great writer had won a Nobel Prize! Parents like your achievements more if some outsider praises them!

After my graduation, I didn't know what to do with my life. For 18 months, I was unemployed...because I never applied anywhere. I was clueless. I didn't want to do what others did: Have a job that they hate. Job means passion and commitment. I wanted to do something creative. The society, however, shocked me. People were more worried than my parents. My friends started giving me all sort of "practical" advice. The friends who, I loved with all my heart, thought that this was highly "uncool." Some even deserted me because obviously, unemployment is uncool and unemployment because you are searching for answers is EXTREMELY CRAZY. My parents were worried but since I'm a girl, it didn't matter. I was shocked. I just wanted to find out what I am good at and a job which i would love. Hell, I was even thinking: why are we so conditioned to search for jobs and not create them? But such things are blasphemy. You cannot question all this. You should shut up and obey everyone.

 All this made me take a vow.

 I decided to do the opposite of "cool." If something makes me happy and that is socially acceptable as "Cool" then it's fine (comeon, I won't deliberately hate a thing because it is cool. That's lame!) but I will never do something just because it is cool. In fact, if you want to find a true person, you should do the opposite of cool.

 I have a Nokia Lumia but I carry an outdated (more outdated than Rajesh Khanna) phone in public. This is not to attract attention...hello!! Who will pay attention to Nokia C101 (even Nokia manufacturers don't remember or pay attention to it and even if they do pay attention isn't it insulting)? This will automatically eliminate all the fake people.

 I might have written the script of a television commercial (people treat you like God if you have any connection with something that is on television) but I might tell my friend that I don't have any creative idea till date.

Initially, I was very embarrassed when someone asked me about my salary but now, the salary I tell them is 50% lesser than my actual one :P (the actual one is itself very embarrassing :P :P ).

 I would write my thought and then write "by Abraham Lincoln" or "by Albert Einstein" or other such great people and then show it to my friend. I want to see whether he/she agrees with the quote because of the "Albert Einstein" factor or genuinely. Then I tell them the truth. It is actually by me.

I was learning Photoshop from a teacher and he was very nice. I wanted to see if he would be nice if I couldn't understand a very very simple thing. Would he be patient with me or just abandon me because I don't get simple things? So even though I understood, I said that I didn't. Surprisingly, he was still nice to me! Not many teachers are like that. They only like students who make their job easier.

 I would go to a place where speaking in Hindi would be a faux pas. One of those places where people make fun of those who do not know English. I would speak in Hindi there. I want everyone to laugh at me because I don't know English.

 I might buy new clothes but I will still prefer the old ones in public. Just to see how people's behavior changes.

 I know how to look better. But I will do the opposite of "looking better." Again, I don't die my hair red, to stand out. I just don't make any efforts to "look better" which means that I look simple...straight from a town or village! It's shocking for people because simplicity is so uncool and that's exactly what I want them to think about me. I'm uncool and I'm cool with it.

 I do not hate beautiful people, English language, Nokia Lumia or any other smart phone or cool things. A phone with better technology lets me do a lot of things and I love that. Almost all the books I have read are in English. THIS POST IS IN ENGLISH. Why would I hate it? What I hate is the "status" that is attached to owning a smart phone or speaking English. I promise I will try my best to not to suck up to this BULLSHIT. I am not a slave to anyone's thinking!I won't think what the society wants me to think. I won't value something just because society values it.