Look around you. Everyone is here to create a good impression. Look at your colleague. Look at that girl in the college. Their biggest worry right now is whether or not they will be considered "cool" by their classmates or colleagues. Look at your parents. Their biggest worry right now is if you have enough degrees to take care of their social reputation. We want everyone to admire us.
I came to Mumbai in my 9th Grade. I was extremely nervous on the first day of my Mumbai Schooling. I sat on the second-last bench and just looked around the classroom. After sometime, a girl came and asked, "Hi! Do you mind if I sit beside you?" That was the beginning of friendship. I was happy because I honestly didn't expect anyone to be nice to me, forget sitting beside me. I am scared of change. New people, new environment, scares the shit out of me. Going to the next year of your schooling is scary..now, I was in a new city!! But this person sitting next to me, gave me strength. She was also like me...shy, introvert and scared of new things. This created a bond between us and we were sailing through the scary environment, smoothly. However, everything started to change.
My friend saw that there were students who were considered "cool" by teacher, students and entire school. They got the best grades but that's not it. They were perfect at everything: dancing, hosting an event, sports...EVERYTHING! It also helped that they were very charming.They had "power" over others:"Cool" was defined by them. That group was a ticket to stardom! I will admit...because of my social conditioning (my parents also liked such kids and had tried their best since my childhood to turn me like those kids), I too wanted to "belong" to that group but I didn't make any efforts. My friend on the other hand was bowled over by them. Slowly and slowly, she started getting closer to them and she was accepted, too. I would have been happy if my friend was really like those people, but she was not! When the leader of that group was impressed with my friend, my friend was on cloud nine. She started ignoring me! I was deeply hurt but didn't know that ignoring was just the beginning and less painful thing. When my friend got completely accepted, she started taunting me and even insulted me on some occasions. I was shocked and shattered. But with time, I moved on. Our schooling got over and now we both went to the same college.
In college, there was again a cool gang and this friend again got down to impress them. The things she didn't really like...she would do those very things...just to find acceptance! However, what happened, shocked me more than her behavior during my schooling. Because of an accident, a cool girl and I were in the same group for a project. And this cool girl was very impressed with me. This was shocking for me because I never thought that cool people can praise uncool people (cool people are not bad!) but wait, this is not the real shock. That friend of mine saw that the cool girl praised me and guess what? She started talking nicely to me again! She even started flattering me. This was more painful and more insulting than what she did in school!
It's not that I wasn't influenced by "cool" people, I was. So let me not be "holier than thou" here. We both are good friends now. But these incidents made me question the basis of friendship. It made me question: Why? Why do we suck up to cool people? Why are we so cautious of our "image?" It is like subtle bullying. You are being bullied and you don't even know it! Once, I shared a thought with my colleague and when I told her that some great writer also thought the same, she started respecting the thought more because the great writer had won a Nobel Prize! Parents like your achievements more if some outsider praises them!
After my graduation, I didn't know what to do with my life. For 18 months, I was unemployed...because I never applied anywhere. I was clueless. I didn't want to do what others did: Have a job that they hate. Job means passion and commitment. I wanted to do something creative. The society, however, shocked me. People were more worried than my parents. My friends started giving me all sort of "practical" advice. The friends who, I loved with all my heart, thought that this was highly "uncool." Some even deserted me because obviously, unemployment is uncool and unemployment because you are searching for answers is EXTREMELY CRAZY. My parents were worried but since I'm a girl, it didn't matter. I was shocked. I just wanted to find out what I am good at and a job which i would love. Hell, I was even thinking: why are we so conditioned to search for jobs and not create them? But such things are blasphemy. You cannot question all this. You should shut up and obey everyone.
All this made me take a vow.
I decided to do the opposite of "cool." If something makes me happy and that is socially acceptable as "Cool" then it's fine (comeon, I won't deliberately hate a thing because it is cool. That's lame!) but I will never do something just because it is cool. In fact, if you want to find a true person, you should do the opposite of cool.
I have a Nokia Lumia but I carry an outdated (more outdated than Rajesh Khanna) phone in public. This is not to attract attention...hello!! Who will pay attention to Nokia C101 (even Nokia manufacturers don't remember or pay attention to it and even if they do pay attention isn't it insulting)? This will automatically eliminate all the fake people.
I might have written the script of a television commercial (people treat you like God if you have any connection with something that is on television) but I might tell my friend that I don't have any creative idea till date.
Initially, I was very embarrassed when someone asked me about my salary but now, the salary I tell them is 50% lesser than my actual one :P (the actual one is itself very embarrassing :P :P ).
I would write my thought and then write "by Abraham Lincoln" or "by Albert Einstein" or other such great people and then show it to my friend. I want to see whether he/she agrees with the quote because of the "Albert Einstein" factor or genuinely. Then I tell them the truth. It is actually by me.
I was learning Photoshop from a teacher and he was very nice. I wanted to see if he would be nice if I couldn't understand a very very simple thing. Would he be patient with me or just abandon me because I don't get simple things? So even though I understood, I said that I didn't. Surprisingly, he was still nice to me! Not many teachers are like that. They only like students who make their job easier.
I would go to a place where speaking in Hindi would be a faux pas. One of those places where people make fun of those who do not know English. I would speak in Hindi there. I want everyone to laugh at me because I don't know English.
I might buy new clothes but I will still prefer the old ones in public. Just to see how people's behavior changes.
I know how to look better. But I will do the opposite of "looking better." Again, I don't die my hair red, to stand out. I just don't make any efforts to "look better" which means that I look simple...straight from a town or village! It's shocking for people because simplicity is so uncool and that's exactly what I want them to think about me. I'm uncool and I'm cool with it.
I do not hate beautiful people, English language, Nokia Lumia or any other smart phone or cool things. A phone with better technology lets me do a lot of things and I love that. Almost all the books I have read are in English. THIS POST IS IN ENGLISH. Why would I hate it? What I hate is the "status" that is attached to owning a smart phone or speaking English. I promise I will try my best to not to suck up to this BULLSHIT. I am not a slave to anyone's thinking!I won't think what the society wants me to think. I won't value something just because society values it.
I came to Mumbai in my 9th Grade. I was extremely nervous on the first day of my Mumbai Schooling. I sat on the second-last bench and just looked around the classroom. After sometime, a girl came and asked, "Hi! Do you mind if I sit beside you?" That was the beginning of friendship. I was happy because I honestly didn't expect anyone to be nice to me, forget sitting beside me. I am scared of change. New people, new environment, scares the shit out of me. Going to the next year of your schooling is scary..now, I was in a new city!! But this person sitting next to me, gave me strength. She was also like me...shy, introvert and scared of new things. This created a bond between us and we were sailing through the scary environment, smoothly. However, everything started to change.
My friend saw that there were students who were considered "cool" by teacher, students and entire school. They got the best grades but that's not it. They were perfect at everything: dancing, hosting an event, sports...EVERYTHING! It also helped that they were very charming.They had "power" over others:"Cool" was defined by them. That group was a ticket to stardom! I will admit...because of my social conditioning (my parents also liked such kids and had tried their best since my childhood to turn me like those kids), I too wanted to "belong" to that group but I didn't make any efforts. My friend on the other hand was bowled over by them. Slowly and slowly, she started getting closer to them and she was accepted, too. I would have been happy if my friend was really like those people, but she was not! When the leader of that group was impressed with my friend, my friend was on cloud nine. She started ignoring me! I was deeply hurt but didn't know that ignoring was just the beginning and less painful thing. When my friend got completely accepted, she started taunting me and even insulted me on some occasions. I was shocked and shattered. But with time, I moved on. Our schooling got over and now we both went to the same college.
In college, there was again a cool gang and this friend again got down to impress them. The things she didn't really like...she would do those very things...just to find acceptance! However, what happened, shocked me more than her behavior during my schooling. Because of an accident, a cool girl and I were in the same group for a project. And this cool girl was very impressed with me. This was shocking for me because I never thought that cool people can praise uncool people (cool people are not bad!) but wait, this is not the real shock. That friend of mine saw that the cool girl praised me and guess what? She started talking nicely to me again! She even started flattering me. This was more painful and more insulting than what she did in school!
It's not that I wasn't influenced by "cool" people, I was. So let me not be "holier than thou" here. We both are good friends now. But these incidents made me question the basis of friendship. It made me question: Why? Why do we suck up to cool people? Why are we so cautious of our "image?" It is like subtle bullying. You are being bullied and you don't even know it! Once, I shared a thought with my colleague and when I told her that some great writer also thought the same, she started respecting the thought more because the great writer had won a Nobel Prize! Parents like your achievements more if some outsider praises them!
After my graduation, I didn't know what to do with my life. For 18 months, I was unemployed...because I never applied anywhere. I was clueless. I didn't want to do what others did: Have a job that they hate. Job means passion and commitment. I wanted to do something creative. The society, however, shocked me. People were more worried than my parents. My friends started giving me all sort of "practical" advice. The friends who, I loved with all my heart, thought that this was highly "uncool." Some even deserted me because obviously, unemployment is uncool and unemployment because you are searching for answers is EXTREMELY CRAZY. My parents were worried but since I'm a girl, it didn't matter. I was shocked. I just wanted to find out what I am good at and a job which i would love. Hell, I was even thinking: why are we so conditioned to search for jobs and not create them? But such things are blasphemy. You cannot question all this. You should shut up and obey everyone.
All this made me take a vow.
I decided to do the opposite of "cool." If something makes me happy and that is socially acceptable as "Cool" then it's fine (comeon, I won't deliberately hate a thing because it is cool. That's lame!) but I will never do something just because it is cool. In fact, if you want to find a true person, you should do the opposite of cool.
I have a Nokia Lumia but I carry an outdated (more outdated than Rajesh Khanna) phone in public. This is not to attract attention...hello!! Who will pay attention to Nokia C101 (even Nokia manufacturers don't remember or pay attention to it and even if they do pay attention isn't it insulting)? This will automatically eliminate all the fake people.
I might have written the script of a television commercial (people treat you like God if you have any connection with something that is on television) but I might tell my friend that I don't have any creative idea till date.
Initially, I was very embarrassed when someone asked me about my salary but now, the salary I tell them is 50% lesser than my actual one :P (the actual one is itself very embarrassing :P :P ).
I would write my thought and then write "by Abraham Lincoln" or "by Albert Einstein" or other such great people and then show it to my friend. I want to see whether he/she agrees with the quote because of the "Albert Einstein" factor or genuinely. Then I tell them the truth. It is actually by me.
I was learning Photoshop from a teacher and he was very nice. I wanted to see if he would be nice if I couldn't understand a very very simple thing. Would he be patient with me or just abandon me because I don't get simple things? So even though I understood, I said that I didn't. Surprisingly, he was still nice to me! Not many teachers are like that. They only like students who make their job easier.
I would go to a place where speaking in Hindi would be a faux pas. One of those places where people make fun of those who do not know English. I would speak in Hindi there. I want everyone to laugh at me because I don't know English.
I might buy new clothes but I will still prefer the old ones in public. Just to see how people's behavior changes.
I know how to look better. But I will do the opposite of "looking better." Again, I don't die my hair red, to stand out. I just don't make any efforts to "look better" which means that I look simple...straight from a town or village! It's shocking for people because simplicity is so uncool and that's exactly what I want them to think about me. I'm uncool and I'm cool with it.
I do not hate beautiful people, English language, Nokia Lumia or any other smart phone or cool things. A phone with better technology lets me do a lot of things and I love that. Almost all the books I have read are in English. THIS POST IS IN ENGLISH. Why would I hate it? What I hate is the "status" that is attached to owning a smart phone or speaking English. I promise I will try my best to not to suck up to this BULLSHIT. I am not a slave to anyone's thinking!I won't think what the society wants me to think. I won't value something just because society values it.
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